Experimentation

So, I decided to try
casual sex. Such a
stupid phrase, there's not one
casual thing about sex. It doesn't
happen by chance or without
intention and indifferent
really doesn't seem to cover
how people feel about it.

So, I decided to try
sex without emotional ties with
a guy I still barely know, but
like well enough and the result was
unexpected.

I'm a Catholic girl
in recovery and if you don't think
that makes things complicated, you
don't know anything about knee socks
and plaid skirts and shame.

If the nuns were right, I'm going
be hanging out in Purgatory a
good long time and it's my intention
to earn every minute, preferably with
more sex, especially more sex of the kind
I just tried. I'm still throbbing thirty-six hours
later and it was much, much less
complicated than I expected and pure
in a way that surprised me. I like skin,
a lot, and sweat, and being plundered.

Years ago, my boss told me the finest things in life,
coffee, Guinness and oral sex,
were acquired tastes. Well, I still don't drink
coffee and I hate beer and I don't think
oral sex is an acquired taste. I took
to it immediately.

Hmm. I seem to have lost
my place. Oh yeah,
I was throbbing
from sex that was simple and pure
like Ivory soap and that shone a
light bright enough to make all the
confusing things in my heart not
confusing anymore just from
the contrast.

It felt so great to lay my skin against the skin
of someone who wanted to feel good
with me and I think I could stand
a lot more of it, especially the throbbing,
and the mystery. I'd like to learn just
what he sees when he trails his fingers
across my cheek.

There's nothing casual about sex
because it's honest human contact and
there's nothing simpler
or more profound.

2006

Thoughts and Comments

I performed this piece at the May Poetry Slam Finals in Eugene.

You may not reproduce, republish or distribute content from Flipside B in any form without express written permission from Barbara Handley unless that specific work is licensed under a Creative Commons license. All rights reserved.

Contact Barbara Handley at mailto:ardea@flipsideb.com