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©2005-2010 Barbara L.M. Handley
Contact Barbara Handley at mailto:ardea@flipsideb.com
Photography Index
Journey Into Self
Hands
Drawing
Photography
Sculpture
Visual Art
Like many of my projects, this one began accidentally.
Right after Thanksgiving of 2005, I decided I'd like to draw some pictures of my hands.
In early January I decided to take some photos for one of my websites and for bio pics to include with poetry/fiction submissions.
I bought some rechargeable batteries for my camera and decided to play around. This is the first shoot where I began to push myself a little bit based on what I saw in the viewer pane.
Coming undone a little bit. I wanted to try to capture some authentic emotions that I've never had the opportunity to see in myself.
With these photos, I began to cross a line where I had to force myself past my insecurities, to begin to see beauty, not in spite of stretch marks and blobs, but in them. It may look like this is me in a bold exhibitionist mood, but this is actually totally intimate and totally vulnerable.
I took a shower in the morning and decided to explore myself a bit more fully than I'd dared a couple of days before.
A chronicle of loneliness: The first hour.
Cleaning the kitchen.
A chronicle of loneliness: The second hour.
Pills, laundry, dishes and piano.
A chronicle of loneliness: The third hour.
Cleaning the living room and dancing.
A chronicle of loneliness: The fourth hour.
Talking on the phone.
A chronicle of loneliness: The fifth hour.
Email, tea and journal writing.
A chronicle of loneliness: The sixth hour.
Peeing, laundry, food.
A chronicle of loneliness: The seventh hour.
Poetry. Getting ready for bed.
A chronicle of loneliness: The eighth hour.
To bed alone.
I don't know who decided to call it writing, more like bleeding out.
Monday morning early. Still a little stuck.
I really am madly in love.
I dance pretty much every day. At home, at the store, on the bike path. I dance.
This one stands alone. I captured something unexpected.
I have lots of favorites.
Perspectives of me not seen in ordinary days.
I'm often driven to move. I can't sit still, so I take frequent short walks.
After taking pictures of myself in my favorite shoes, I decided to play around a bit with the black lace stockings I'd put on.
There's a girl sittin' by the window. It's me. It's me.
I became fascinated with taking pictures with the camera held high over my head. Unusual perspective.
My hair has a life of its own. Sometimes it takes me along.
Lingerie is expensive. And lovely. I wear it to please myself.
There was morning sun, a rare thing in Oregon Aprils.
Ready to go slam poetry.
Singing and dancing to the Dresden Dolls.
More beautiful morning light. It insisted.
I've been continuing to take photos, and I will continue to do so, but I find that it's shifting a great deal for me right now, so I've decided not to add any more photos to the website for the time being.
I told the story I wanted to tell myself. I'm sure I'll be ready to bring the others out to the world at some point, but right now, they're resting.
©2005-2010 Barbara L.M. Handley
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